I was working at the club as usual last night and my DJ was on again.......god I have it bad. It's weird sometimes I think that he just doesn't like me (as a person) then he's flirty and I'll catch him looking at me. Last night was odd, I wasn't in great form to start with so I wasn't really talkative. He obviously noticed, but for some reason I went out of my way not to talk to him...almost ignore him when I was talking to everyone else. Perhaps a subconcious action to see whether it bothered him or not? Well, he asked me a couple of times what was wrong and I didn't answer, then he says...."you just gonna be grumpy tonight?". I just blanked him. Rather rude I know. I think I was also in a mind that I felt as tho I would blurt out my undying love for him or something horrendous like that, so I said nothing at all. My mate Roisin, another Guard, was also working, so I told her to get me in good form and sure enough after half hour I was grand.
A wee while after that, he put on one of my favourite songs, it ALWAYS makes me jump around behind the bar. Anyway, I start hopping around and see him with this massive grin on his face watching me. It kinda said "I made her do that, I made her happy". Later on we were asking Mark not to play a certain song as it was shite. I said Mark babe, you and me, we KNOW it's a shite song, you're just in denial. Well....the look he gave me could have turned you to ice. You would have thought that I said I was going to kill him or something!!!! I wasn't rude, didn't say anything strange and I get this weird look??!!! So, I thought to myself, feck ya then and the horse ya rode in on and went back to ignoring him as that small thing had pissed me off. Rather childish I know but the man has my head wrecked, I don't know whehter I love him or hate him!!!!! We did last orders and started clearing up. He made a point (or so it seemed) to be standing just enough far back that I couldn't walk past him to get out from behind the bar, when usually he sees me coming and moves out of the way. So I just stood there, said nothing and waited for him to move. He says, oh sorry and moves out of the way to let me past, I go stomping off to collect glasses not even looking at him nad cursing his sexy ass. He packed up all his gear and pretty much disappeared. I went behind the bar, saw all his stuff was gone, looked up to see if he was there and he wasn't. My heart dropped! I thought BUGGER, you silly cow Lobster, you're not gonna see him for another 2 weeks now and it feels like we left on bad terms. 5 minutes later he walks back in, I see him, feel this huge sense of relief (I don't know why either) and he looks at me and just looks away again without smiling or anything, then leaves....doesn't say goodbye, see you in a couple of weeks.....Nothing!!!!!
Now I'm angry again......god I'm like a rollercoaster up and down in my moods!!!!! and the worst of it is, is that I STILL don't know for sure if he's seeing someone! What kinda dozy kipper am I eh? Why didn't I just call out to hima nd say seya next time or something???
One of the doormen, another Guard gave me a lift home. I get along really well with him and he is quite fanciable. Anyway............I ended up kissing him!! Tut tut. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to and I do like him, but I feel kinda sluttish. I'm not seeing anyone else and there's nothing to say I can't kiss people, but if I'm so loved up with Mark, then why the hell am I kissing someone else???? I'm obviously a rampant slut LMAO. Thing is, he wants to see me again, outside of work and a day later, although it was a good idea at the time, I'm thinking, but I don't......I just want my DJ :-( Lord almighty, what a mess I make eh?!!
I did find out what Guarda station my Dj works in tho...not that that helps much, but sure ya never know. I could just "happen" to be walking past as he's coming out. LOL. God now I'm a rampant slutty stalker ha ha.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let the next 2 weeks fly by. Behold my heart, transfixed upon the huddles spears.
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