Confused but happy

Well, I'm just back in from work and what a GREAT night it was. A fantastic night in fact :-D

Super super busy and lots of totty to look at, tho how I managed to find the time I'll never know and truth be told I'm sure that there were quite a few that I missed as I was so busy!!! Damn and blast! Though saying this is funny as right now there is really only one person (ok....2) that I'm interested in. Our DJ!!!!!! Ya, ya, I know, never go with a DJ, a bouncer or a barman. The fact that he's a guard, shouldn't really make a difference at all....but it does. He only works every other 2 weeks so I haven't seen him for 2 weeks on my usual Monday nights and I've just been thinking about him constantly. I was sooooooo looking forward to seeing him and had actually plucked up the nerve to ask him out tonight!!!!

Well.......turns out that he's in a "long term relationship", or at least that's what my boss told me. It didn't surprise me at all, someone like that couldn't possibly be single. It's not like he's George Cloony, but he is damn attractive. What makes him so, is not the way that he looks (tho it helps and being 6'3'' is perfection for me-I hate short men) but more so his manner. He's one of these people that watch first and then come to a decision or judgement as such about somebody. I've been working with him for months now and we only started chatting recently.........then again....I am fecking nuts so that MIGHT have something to do with it :-D

Anyhoooooo, I actually made an effort tonight and dressed real nice and did my super sexy make-up, all in preparation of asking the man out. He noticed alright, he couldn't really help not.....I'm a jeans and T gal, and tonight was skirt, kinky boots and a tight top...plus of course the fabulous make-up darling !!! LMAO Sexy not slutty was the overall effect. I walked in...took my coat off....went to serve a customer, saw him looking out the corner of my eye and caught him at it. This just carried on for the whole night, I'd catch him looking and he'd hold my look for a second then look away....under the pretense of doing DJ like things LOL When he caught me looking at him, I was just blatent and stared back with a wanton gleam in my eye. In my imagination or otherwise, there was definitely flirting going on.....at the end of the night, he normally just buggers off home.....tonight he stayed on...had a coffee......chatted with the regulars that we give after hour drinks to....SO not his style at all. When he was leaving, he says to us all...."night all...(looks at me) see you on friday night" Well.......to say I flip-flopped is an understatement! You know how it is when you like someone, you try and act all nonchalant, super cool and couldn't care less, the the person says or does something and you turn into a 12 year old with a crush????? Ja...that was me.

What I'm not sure of is......if he is seeing someone....then he shouldn't be flirting so....and if he, is then that's the kind of man i DON'T want to be with, also, my boss, whom I had asked to find out for me if he was single or not, kinda wouldn't mind rolling me round the hay barn himself!!! So I dunno. I was talking to my mate Ritchie and he asked me what was wrong so I said, "Well....I decided this week that I was gonna take the bull by the horns and do something....and now I can't cos there's no point". He said to me "Lobster, no-one knows what someone's answer will be until you ask". Now...... I wasn't going to tell him what I was going to ask, nor whom I was lusting after, but I think that he got the general point. It was fairly obvious after tonight that I really like the guy and he, as I said never EVER hangs around after work. He's normally well gone before even half the glasses have been washed or the punters have left......So I have to wonder.

Perhaps I should just ask him outright and feck the answer.......I mean I can only take my bosses word for it that he's not single. I don't know that for a fact right? And if I ask him out and he says no cos he's seeing someone? Well, at least I'll really know then....and in true Lobster style I shall wink cheekily at the sexy fecker and say.....If you don't ask, you don't get.....and walk away nonchalantly.....LMAO.

There's just something about him, it's his demeanor...the fact that he doesn't say all that much, the simple fact that he hasn't tried to ride me as most men do......just makes me want to really get to know him more. There's something I'm really drawn to about him, I don't know what it is. Anyone that can make me stop thinking about Daan must be special right? God, I'm such a fuck wit sometimes. I've been mulling this over for months now and just can't get this silly man out of my head! Even when I had started dating someone back in February, I was thinking about him and whether or not I should ask him out and even was dreaming about him....I still am!!!! That guy I was seeing has long been since dumped....Good lord...what an absolute BORE......one of those know it alls...you could be a brain surgeon and he would tell you that you're not doing it right, he has an opinion on EVERYTHING!!!!!!! I think I did pretty well to have hung in for 6 weeks with him...never mind the bad Noodles and other things!! Bad bad Lobster....one should never speak ill of the.........

Well, I shall go to my bed and no doubt think about the lovely Mark. YUM YUM YUM.
Fingers crossed he IS single and my boss was just trying to deter me!